Old Time Radio Rotating Header Image

I need help with my book, opinions, please read?

Hey again. Sorry for posting another about this but the last summary I gave of my story wasn’t worded that great and didn’t explain the story that well, I’m very bad at summarizing anything.

So, here’s a better summary.

The book is about a teenage girl named Serah Dahson. A normal seventeen year old till one day her blood is tainted with that of a angels. Thus giving her extroardinary power and a destiny. The taint gives her the responsibility of protecting people and defeating supernatural creatures, but also making her their target because of her unique nature.

So, the book is not a teen romance. Sure there will be a romance at one point since there should be. But there will be action, adventure, death, traumatic and torturous events, gore, demonic creatures. Drama from her new life and from her old. Her trying to accept what she is and the world she is now apart of. Plus a colorful cast of characters to help her along the way that I am still working on.
Plus the wings part is still in the making, how that will be put in since she is going to have wings, being tainted with the blood of a angel after all. I don’t want it to be something that’s always there, like in Maximum Ride there wings are always there and have to be hidden. So I thought that I make the wings protrude out of her back at will, tearing out of her skin in a painful process and retracts back into her skin, healing the wounds created when going out, as if they weren’t there. A friend suggested to go along with this that the wings be a tattoo on her back, the wings becoming real when needed.
As for the angel that taints her I had it thought that maybe the angel is one with a deathsentance, so days before meeting Serah he fled to earth, and is still on the run from searching angels at the time. So mixing his blood with Serahs is a final act almost before his death.
The main character is a bit of a rebel, has some spirit and a attitude so that could be interesting itself. The name Serah Dahson is not for certain but might be it. She has fiery red hair, white skin, silvery light green eyes.
Other characters I have is her mentor, a ex slayer named Anthony Krathen ((again not a for certain name.)) who she meets while seeking answers at a church and just can’t get rid of since. He is twenty eight and a ex slayer because of a injury in his hip ((not certain)) that he got from a battle a few years ago, causing him to stop his work. Now helps Serah seeing it as a chance to do something good again.
A bubbly, overtalkative, everchanging radio host named Maile that is from a different realm similar to ours but ruled by demonic creatures that then cast her out for her crimes. A race that only exists in their world. ((this is all being thought out still but friends have suggested that I keep the different realm ruled by demonic creatures thing.)) She hosts a radio show directed to the supernatural, not rated T for Teen and often finds herself being wanted dead for how she talks about races and certain people in the supernatural world on the air. Very unique personality and changes appearance very often.
A adorable ten year old insane girl named Lei Willas with the power to see and read energys all around her. Lived in a insane asylum run by demonic creatures that kidnapped people and creatures that they found powerful and turned into soldiers, assassins, slaves, pets, whatever they wanted them for. ((still in the making.)) She has knowledge on the antagonist of this book from first hand experiance, just need to get past her insane rambles first. ((She’s in this story because she is a hit with my friends. we’re all roleplayers and people I roleplay with seem to love her.))
These four characters took forever to make up, my male characters are still being made. I’m trying to make them unique and hopefully memorable too. So I have one more male character to really put in here then another that’s not a main but is important for me. Plus the antagonist is in the making, I’m working real hard there and a villain is not easy.

I do plan on writing this story in the way of episodes like on tv.

As for my gramar and punctuation, ect, I know I’m bad right now but this is not how I write when I’m writing for my books. I put more effort into it. When I’m writing just to talk like this I’m not so neat. But I swear I write much better then I do right now.
This is my dreamjob, writing. I’m trying real hard and need the advice you’d have to offer.

Also, this is all original in my head. I’ve never read any books on angels, except the fallen which I started just earlier this morning to help me see how angels are used in other books. The only things I know on angels are from Supernatural and the movie Legion. Otherwise I’ve never seen or read anything else about angels. So if I’m taking someone elses idea then I really really didn’t know, please tell me if I a

Asked by:Alyirie


  1. chocolatelover727 says:

    It sounds like a fantastic idea. There are probably similar stories out there, but if you make it your own, you shouldn’t have a problem. I really love the tattoo idea, and your characters seem very interesting and believable. Definitely continue with this.

  2. Goddess of Chocolate says:

    Reminds me of a game called Disgaea which is about angels and demons. You may want to type it in google for details as the plot is a bit complicated for me to explain on yahoo.

    However it sounds really great you could have fun writing this.
    Also try not to make the angels use their magic every single time they want to get out of tough spots because that makes it dull but other than that just start writing!

    Good Luck! :)

  3. Sapphire says:

    The whole thing about it being painful for her wings to emerge from her skin and when they are retracted, her skin heals, is a complete rip off from the X-Men – Wolverine did the exact same thing with his claws.

    Other than that, it sounds like an ok story line, but I’m not really into the whole angel thing – I think it’s a bit overused.

Leave a Reply