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If your spouse engaged in this type of communication with his/her ex would you trust her again?

1st email: wife to ex husband

It’s me again saying hello, since you do not make an effort to keep in touch! I’m sure I saw you on Channel 4 news yesterday in connection with the Jesse Jackson tour launch or perhaps I’m mistaken.


2nd email – response from ex husband

Did not think you would be that interested in keeping in touch although I do not think I have been that wayward. It wasnt me on Channel 4 News. Cant say I have been a fan of Jackson of late although the recent stuff on taking responsibility is ok. Get a bit narked why people genuflect in Jacksons direction and are so grateful to take lectures from him the history of race politics in USA is an absolute disaster. Dont think we should be taking lessons there.

Out of work at the end of this month but £40K richer… DRC is merging with EOC and CRE into the Commission for Equalities and Human Rights. I have decided not to go in but to take early release. Very bored of work right now and need to think about what to do for the next 20 years.

You ok?

3rd email

Really nice to hear from you. Don’t know why you got the impression I did not want to keep in touch.

I understand why you want to take a break from work, but you know the money won’t last long. I assume you have holidays lined up. Have you been to Jamaica with your mum yet?

For me it is the same old story regarding work, although it has become more pressurising what with fixed fees being introduced by the LSC from the 1st of October this year. The public have no idea that the legal aid system is being totally decimated. I am doing a lot of care work (which as you may recall I used to dread) since the fees have not been slashed in the same way as matrimonial etc. I keep myself sane by going to the gym everyday and doing Open University courses. You will be surprised to note that I am taking a real interest in opera and western classical music (I wonder where that interest emanates from!). Although I did not appreciate it at the time, I missed listening to it and therefore am building up a collection!

Do keep in touch and please give me your new email address.

Take care


4th email
Can you read this?

Recognition at last for Kerala south East Asian language palindrome was a Guardian clue last week!!

We were going to JR the LSC on their reform proposals because we felt the reduction in costed hours would be disastrous for complex disability discrimination cases we know that a lot of practitioners just dont get the DDA. Unfortunately our commission bottled it.

Could be going to Jamaica in November but with my Dad his mum is dying and I will be going to witness her closing hours.

I am amazed about the classical stuff. If you are interested in getting a good collection you should listen to Building a Library every Saturday on radio 3 kick of at 9.00am. 9.30 is the slot where they review the best recording of a particular piece. They are usually on the money. You may know of Gramophone too a very good magazine that comes out monthly as is exhaustive reference to good new recordings.

I am still playing the Indian flute and practicing my ragas a legacy that you left me with…




Asked by:roh P


  1. corndogs says:

    1. Why are you reading her email?
    2. I see nothing inappropriate. A bit insecure, are we?

  2. no1advice says:

    Too long to read but I get the gist she is cheating or thinking of cheating which is enough….drop her asss now.

  3. Nickaroni says:

    Well, just by the fact that she said she will stop and didn’t would make me not trust her. It doesn’t seem that harmful to me, I’m sure you sometimes wonder about X’s, no?

    It seems pretty harmless, if it bothers you just talk to her about it. Or tell her you want to read the correspondence, although she must know you have been already.

    Good luck!

  4. TheOne says:

    Why are yu reading her email.

    I see nothing inappropriate.


  5. oddball says:

    of course.i have had nights out with my ex wife, we know each other inside out, i wouldn’t choose her over my wife though, i cant see your problem. now if he/she was nasty to an ex, then i would worry.

  6. Danielle says:

    I don’t see anything in those emails that would give you cause not to trust your partner.
    To be honest, they are the most boring emails I have ever read and if that is all they have to talk about then I really wouldn’t worry.

    Remember some people can stay very good friends after a break up. It doesn’t mean they have feelings for each other.
    My parents are divorced and have both married other people yet they remain the best of friends. There is a huge difference between ‘loving’ someone and being ‘in love’ with someone.

    The question I have to ask though is, why were you going through the emails? I feel there is a lack of trust there anyway or you wouldn’t have felt the need to do this.

  7. contessa says:

    I’m confused! How did you get into her e-mails to read them? Did she give you concerns about not trusting her? Apparently he is in the lime-light and she still has his e-mail address and she thought that she saw him. (I wonder why they got divorced!) I saw no reason for you not to trust her because she never told him that she missed him or wanted to see him. Sometime when you have a past with an ex; some time you just want to discuss an issue with someone who you will think understands.

  8. Sweet_Di says:

    there is no reason not to trust her yet. she never mentioned meeting up with him. now if she did what my husband did then you would have the right to be pissed. my husband added an ex girlfriend from college on his facebook and lied to me told me she was not an ex. Well i got on his facebook and he messaged her and called her sweet heart then i asked again if she was an ex he said no well a couple weeks later i got a bad feeling so i went on his facebook and she messaged him saying sorry i missed your call. I told her who i was she told me she is an ex from college and she is the one he took on spring break to florida and he had been calling for on his cellphone behind my back for 3 months. I put a stop to that. he knows i do not trust him and i dont believe what he says. i dont know if they were going to hook up he would not call her and talk to her infront of me he deleted her number from his phone.

  9. silly me says:

    To be honest – there’s no harm in their correspondance. I understand what its like to be the new one on the scene but you cannot tell her who she can and cannot see or speak to. She spent years with this man & honestly its good to see she’s still on good terms with him. You need to stop spying on her and let her do her own thing. If you keep pushing her away from him – she’ll end up back with him – do you get what I mean??

    Sometimes after a divorce you miss your ex’s friendship, thats what they’re building. She chose you so be happy about it but you need to get over her ex. If you cant handle them being friends – then end the relationship. You obviously dont trust her so whats the point in being with her?? To upset yourself & argue with her? Come on, wake up start being mature or get over it!

  10. divagaldiva says:

    I see nothing wrong with these emails. Just because she is talking to her ex doesn’t mean she wants to be with him or that she doesn’t love you. it doesn’t even seem like they are trying to flirt the male actually sound like he is only talking to her because he doesn’t want to be rude…..i wouldnt worry about it.

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